Holy Mother Load of Frustration!

This blog has been postponed for way too long. I have been wanting to blog, and have even had what I wanted to say all planned out in my head, but for what ever reason I just could not bring myself to sit down and write.

I do not even know where to begin with the events that have been going on.

My sister has been going through a lot. I feel like our relationship is diminishing. I of course as always stand by her side and support her. I only hear from her when I call her, or if she needs to vent.

Me again trying to help my brother and get him out of trouble, has now drug me into the situation, and I am now paying the price for his mistake. I do not understand why he feels the need to lie and con.

I got my old job back, but I am only working part-time.

Now here is what I am currently boggled over. I just have no Idea what the fuck to do.

My ex Joe (Joe is a FTM-born female but transitioned to male) and I split up about 2 years ago. Our relationship was coming to an end a bit before I moved out. I moved out when I found out that he was sleeping with his best friend. SMH.

Now Joe is engaged to his best friend (who is female and we will call 'A'). Because Joe has now legally transitioned from FTM he can legally marry his fiance 'A' because he is now considered a straight male (he really identifies as queer), and his fiance is a straight female (well she identifies as gay). They queer world is so complicated, but in the end everyone on the outside will see them as a straight Male/Female couple.

Joe and I still have not dissolved our domestic partnership. Our domestic partnership is under his birth name and sex (female). So now that he has transitioned into a whole new gender, does that void our domestic partnership since "she" no longer exists? Does this make sense to anyone?

Joe can get married to A because Joe is now legally a man, and A is a female. But where does that leave me legally? Do I still need to dissolve this pre-existing partnership with Joe, before I can have one with my current partner? Or is it now void since the person I was legally partnered to legally really no longer exists?

Shit like this would not be so damn complicated if gay's could have the same right to marry as straights. Fuck you.

I have called all over the place and they all give me the bs run around. I don't need a lawyer, there are no assets to divide or anything like that. We are both willingly wanting to dissolve our partnership. What I am concerned about is Joe being able to get married regardless to the domestic partnership we currently have. If he is able to do that he is not going to want to go out of his way to help me dissolve something that does not directly affect him. When my partner and I decide to get our domestic partnership-I am still going to be bound to this person who no longer exists. Because the partnership does not affect Joe in anyway any longer, I am worried that I am going to be stuck in this bullshit predicament.

Over the Rainbow

Pride 2010 is tomorrow, and I am sooo stoked. This will only be my second Pride, and my girlfriends 1st! The parade literally walks right past our apartment windows (We are on the 1st floor). I plan on waking up early to get a good curbside seat, where I am sure to get tons of swag!

I have $20 bucks to my name and I plan on spending it at Pride!

I scored a FREE 18"x 13" Pride flag from Love Zone. I found a coupon for it in the Stranger. No purchase necessary! I call that a score! lol

I am excited.. For the first time ever, the Seattle Space Needle is now flying (proudly) the gay pride flag! You can read more about the story HERE.

This is just a short blog, I will be updating tomorrow thought with TONS of pictures!

Psychoanalysis & Pop Psychology

I got to thinking about fathers, or the lack there of. Some say a daughters relationship with her father is a model for all of her sub-sequential relationships with men. Is that just pop psychology, or is there some truth to it? And if you were given a less than perfect model does it mean a life of less than perfect relationships? I couldn't help but wonder... how much does a father figure, figure?

Does this theory apply to homosexual relationships? Sigmund Freud's basic theory of human sexuality was that all human beings were innately bisexual, and that they become heterosexual or homosexual as a result of their experiences with parents and others (Freud, 1905). In a now-famous letter to an American mother in 1935, Freud wrote:

"Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. Many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc.). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime, and cruelty too....(reprinted in Jones, 1957, pp. 208-209, from the American Journal of Psychiatry, 1951, 107, 786).

Does this mean, if I did not form a (good) relationship with either of my parents (at birth or early child hood) I am definitely going to be screwed when it comes to forming relationships with a perspective partner?

Just something to think about...

Relationships are about compromise. But where do you draw the line between compromising, and compromising yourself? Is it possible to be so much in love that you don't exist anymore, but only your 'compromised self'?

On that note, love... love is a tricky think. It is dangerous, and sneaky. Which brings us to another subject... Fate. Do the stars and the moon control fate? Is there really that one person out there for each of us, and if so, with one wrong turn or mistake can we loose or miss out on that person and be alone forever?