I got to thinking about fathers, or the lack there of. Some say a daughters relationship with her father is a model for all of her sub-sequential relationships with men. Is that just pop psychology, or is there some truth to it? And if you were given a less than perfect model does it mean a life of less than perfect relationships? I couldn't help but wonder... how much does a father figure, figure?
Does this theory apply to homosexual relationships? Sigmund Freud's basic theory of human sexuality was that all human beings were innately bisexual, and that they become heterosexual or homosexual as a result of their experiences with parents and others (Freud, 1905). In a now-famous letter to an American mother in 1935, Freud wrote:
Does this mean, if I did not form a (good) relationship with either of my parents (at birth or early child hood) I am definitely going to be screwed when it comes to forming relationships with a perspective partner?"Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. Many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc.). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime, and cruelty too....(reprinted in Jones, 1957, pp. 208-209, from the American Journal of Psychiatry, 1951, 107, 786).
Just something to think about...
Relationships are about compromise. But where do you draw the line between compromising, and compromising yourself? Is it possible to be so much in love that you don't exist anymore, but only your 'compromised self'?
On that note, love... love is a tricky think. It is dangerous, and sneaky. Which brings us to another subject... Fate. Do the stars and the moon control fate? Is there really that one person out there for each of us, and if so, with one wrong turn or mistake can we loose or miss out on that person and be alone forever?
That depends on your perspective. You can look at it at not having parents gives you something to blame and you will always be that way, or you can look at it as, "Now I understand why I have been this way so far, I choose to look for things in a different way."
ReplyDeleteIt is our unconscious lessons of the adults around us that teach us what love is at a child. While growing up we will repeat those same patterns if we do not do the work it takes to change. First step is deciding that is not how you want to be. I know do not want to be chained by the shackles of childhood abandonment.
I believe that relationships are about love and service. One of the reason why it is so important to choose the right person to love. If both have the intention of serving their lovers highest good then a wonderful relationship will happen. If just one does not want to serve then the relationship will falter and can become abusive.
I believe there are many one persons out there for each of us. If you miss one then another will be just around the corner.