Its been awhile since I posted. My girlfriend and I are still living in downtown. We in a better apartment though. A new company bought our building and allowed us to move to an apartment of our choice. We picked on on the 3rd floor facing the courtyard instead of the road. Its much quieter.

I am going to school in North Seattle. I was accepted into a nursing program. Its going well.

I am feeling really... un-needed lately. A huge incident happened between my brother and I. I have not talked to him since. I hope he is okay, but I cannot bring myself to call him. He really hurt me. My sister doesn't call me much anymore. She has her girls and husband and work. It keeps her busy. I dont get to talk to her as much as I used to, and I miss it alot. Lately she has been saying stuff like "I am focusing on my family". Im like wth. I am ur family too, and u can't take 2min out of ur week to call me? I mean come on, I never screen her calls. Well HA! Thats because she never calls me. I only call her. She RARELY calls me. It makes me feel like crap.

I just feel like everything I used to live for, or everyone for that matter... has moved on. My sister has her family. My brother is back to his old life. My dad is doing his own thing, we were never close anyway. My Gramma is living her life. I rarely talk to any of them. I feel like I could be gone and no one would miss me. No one misses me now. Its devastating to me, because they are my life. I haven't talked to anyone in weeks. I finally called my sister today.

My girlfriends mom doesn't want me with my girlfriend. She thinks I am holding her back from doing something great with her life. I am not stopping anything. My girlfriend is extremely close with her mother. They are closer together than my girlfriend and I. Closer than I am with any of my family.

It all just makes me feel so unimportant. So unwanted and un-needed. I just want to die.