Wedding Fail

So today I started to gather ideas for my wedding. My girlfriend (now fiance) proposed to me on our way home from a weekend trip at Seaside Oregon(a few weeks ago). I of course said yes.

I find it hard to be excited. Its complicated. I feel like I was so let down in my last relationship. I was proposed to, planned the wedding, everything, and then got my heart broken.

My family was never supportive of my gay relationship with my ex, so it was hard getting them to be involved with any planning or whatever. Luckily I had my ex's family's support.

I feel like any announcement of my engagement now would be calling wolf. I feel like my family does not take me serious in anything I do. All I want... need, is my family's support and happiness for me.

I don't have a father to walk me down the isle. I don't have a mother to help me plan. I don't have a grandmother to give me the advice I need. I don't have a sister to sniggle with excitement with.

I of course have always wanted the wedding of my dreams, nothing huge and extravagant, I want something simple and elegant. It never bothered me not having parental figures to be there for me. But I expected the family that I do have (sister-grandma) to take me seriously and be excited for me.

With Deliliah and I not being a traditional wedding to begin with, I feel like I have to compromise my traditional wedding values and beliefs as far as the ceremony. Deliliah does not want to have a ceremony, or me in the Cinderella dress.

While I was gathering ideas for my wedding today, I broke down. I broke down because I didnt want to do this alone. I was frusterated I had no one to turn to be excited with. Deliliah is not showing much emotion towards the wedding either. I broke down because I felt like there was no hope of me getting even a little bit of the Wedding ceremony Ive always dreamed of having. I cried because I feel like no one is interested.

One of the most important times in my life and I am feeling utterly alone.

What is the point?